He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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