Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize