You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
