Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
pray to the hookup gods
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
