I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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