she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
