He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize