Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize