I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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