She's JV to your varsity
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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