watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh god it's open bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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