ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
