How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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