Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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