Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
