god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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