He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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