my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize