Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
