My room smells like vodka and shame
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
