JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
