I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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