So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
