I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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