Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im holly from the hills drunk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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