Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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