kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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