Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
