The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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