It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
