question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
