I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have post one night stand depression
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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