He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
