i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
