this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
