Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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