I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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