my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
