My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize