don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can you repeat that, but with context?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
