Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
