I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
