he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
