it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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