Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
