he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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