Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We have started to decorate penises.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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