no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
