did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
