So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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