shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize