Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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