Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
