So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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