It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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