Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
