He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
God I need to hump something, right now.
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