u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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