do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
