So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
