someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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