I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
