I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize