hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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