Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
